Local man dies from plume of neighbor’s disgusting new perfume
Evergreen Meadows, Suburbia – In a tragic yet fragrant turn of events, local man Carl Jenkins, 52, was pronounced dead...
Lifestyle & Beauty
Senators advised not to wear their Qipaos while speaking about China tariffs
Washington, D.C. – The Senate chamber turned into a sartorial circus this week as senators were cautioned against wearing qipaos...
Local dad makes sure kids don’t waste pennies leaving lights on so he can waste thousands in crypto
In the quaint suburban town of Evergreen Meadows, local dad Greg Thompson has elevated frugality to a performance art—provided it’s...
BREAKING: Child of B-List celebrity bravely comes out as attention whore
HOLLYWOOD—In a jaw-dropping moment that caught absolutely no one off guard, 19-year-old Skyler Montague—offspring of former River Hollow teen idol...
Harry Sisson accuses Lily Phillips of stealing his idea to sleep with over 100 men in a day
The adult entertainment industry has been rocked by a fresh scandal as Harry Sisson publicly accuses OnlyFans star Lily Phillips...
JUST IN: Tone deaf pilot has gender reveal party in the midst of LA wildfires
In what might be the most tone-deaf move since someone decided to throw a birthday party during the Black Plague,...
Local dad surprised by the Christmas gifts he gave his kids because his wife did all the shopping
In a heartwarming holiday twist, local resident Mark Thompson was left utterly astonished by the Christmas presents he ostensibly chose...
Family makes annual trip to donate last year’s Chinese junk to make room for this year’s Chinese junk
The Smith family has perfected an annual ritual that combines the spirit of giving with the art of decluttering. On...
Crenshaw dyes hair purple to win back ‘Most Revolting Person In DC’ title
WASHINGTON, DC—In the heart of the nation's capital, a title has been passed from one lawmaker to another in a...
BREAKING: Woman confused why she didn’t find Mr. Right while having sex with 100 men in 14 hours
In what can only be described as the most ambitious quest for love in modern times, Lily Phillips, known in...
