BREAKING: Pope Leo XIV offers to host peace talks between Trump and Elon
VATICAN CITY—Pope Leo XIV has thrown his mitre into the ring, offering to mediate a high-stakes peace summit between former...
Exavier Saskagoochie
Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!
Leftists Scramble to Put Out Fires They Started on Their Teslas Now That Elon Is Feuding with Trump
US—Left-leaning Tesla owners across the country are frantically trying to extinguish the fires they set on their own electric vehicles...
VIDEO: Greta Thunberg yells at Mount Etna for recklessly violating climate change regulation
ITATY—Climate enthusiast Greta Thunberg has flown to Italy to yell at the world's most active volcano Mount Etna for violating international...
BREAKING: City Council prohibits driving or walking on their new pride crosswalks
The city council has prohibited driving or walking on their new pride crosswalks to prevent destruction, in what many are...
Pride parade cancelled due to 90% chance of fire and brimstone
A pride parade scheduled to be held on Saturday in the twin cities of Sodom and Gomorrah has been cancelled...
Angel Reese says basketball rims are racists for making her throw up so many bricks
CHICAGO, IL – In a shocking post-game press conference following a tough loss for the Chicago Sky, WNBA star Angel...
MEMORIAL DAY: Nation mourns George Floyd who died when his spaceship exploded in 2020
US—This Memorial Day, the nation is mourning NASA legend George Floyd who died two years ago when his spaceship exploded...
Genesius Times officially endorses AOC-Crockett 2028 Presidential Ticket: ‘It’s a No-Brainer’
In a move that has sent shockwaves through the satirical news community, the editorial board of Genesius Times, the internet’s...
BREAKING: Biden’s proctologist Hillarina Clintosky says he has aggressive form of prostate cancer
In a medical bombshell that’s sent shockwaves through the Beltway and X’s meme factories, President Joe Biden’s personal proctologist, Dr....
BREAKING: Trump responds to Comey’s ‘8647’ post with ‘FAFO’ post
WASHINGTON, DC—President Donald Trump, currently embroiled in his second term, responded to a cryptic social media post by former FBI...
